Proof Why Girls Are Evil
by Epsilon Zeta
Summary: I finally got a fic out thanks to the Victoria Day Weekend. Let me know if you want the original e-mail that I based this story on.


Author's Notes: I just got the idea for this story when I read an interesting piece of e-mail given to me by a friend of mine on Saturday. This actually made a lot of sense to me when I saw the mathematical proof. Since I have a long weekend and my projects are loosening up a bit, I found the time to write this little story. As for the obnoxious reviewer "Your Worst Nightmare", I have a complete set of responses for him/her and the end of the story. By the way, this is not a sexual discrimination story!! Just some interesting things to think about! The gang is about 16 years old and the couples are S&S, E&T and T&C (Takashi and Chiharu).  
  
Disclaimers: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP. Some of this stuff is based on the old Canadian comedy "Student Bodies". I don't own "Student Bodies" or anything else so there.  
  
Proof Why Girls Are Evil  
  
"That confirms it. Girls are evil." Takashi collapsed on one end of Tomoyo's couch in pure exhaustion and Eriol was on the other end, breathing hard. Syaoran, on the other hand, didn't feel too tired thanks to his heavy training in his childhood years. He raised an eyebrow at his tired friend. "What are you talking about? They have their faults with the shopping sprees and other things but evil? No way...especially with Sakura-chan. She's a pure angel."  
  
"She's good but a pure angel? Don't make me laugh. She has that evil gene that all girls inherit," stated Takashi wearily. Syaoran shook his head. "You fooled me several times when we were children but I've outgrown your stories." Eriol smirked. "Honto? What about the time when you believed that taxis were formed as soon as the wheel was built? And that was about a month ago."  
  
"Urusei, Hiiragizawa." Eriol grinned before turning his attention towards Takashi. "Okay, how can you prove that girls are evil?" Takashi got up. "They always ask questions that place guys into paradoxes. Remember the Home Economics assignment where we were married and had to plan a portfolio? I remember Tomoyo asking you one of those types of questions."  
  
Eriol went pale. "Now I remember. After the assignment, she asked me how was it like being married. And I knew there that whatever answer I gave would make me look like a total ass. The worst part was that other girls were gathering around me to hear my answer." Syaoran shook his head in disbelief. "You can't prove that girls are evil with that one piece of evidence."  
  
Takashi took out a piece of paper and a pencil. "Very well. I'll prove it mathematically. We all know girls require time and money." He wrote down the fact as an equation.  
  
Girls = Time x Money  
  
"And we all know that time is money."  
  
Time = Money  
  
Girls = Time x Money = Money x Money   
  
"Girls equals money squared?" Takashi sighed. "You're a math genius, Syaoran. You can figure this out. Now money is said to be the root of all evil. In mathematical terms, money equals the square root of evil. Substitute this into our girls equation above. And this is what we get."  
  
Girls = Evil  
  
"There's the mathematical proof, Syaoran. If this doesn't convince you, then I don't..." Tomoyo poked her head out of the changing room. "We coming down to show you our new dresses!!" Takashi gasped in horror. "We better get out of here while we still can!! Otherwise, they'll ask one of those paradox questions!!!" Eriol and Takashi raced out of the room, leaving a stunned Syaoran.  
  
'They're overreacting. The equation looks accurate but my koishii is an exception to this.' Syaoran gave a small contented sigh before he noticed the girls coming out of the changing room. 'Wouldn't want them to see this.' He crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the waste bin before the girls could notice. "Where did Eriol-chan and Takashi-kun go?" Syaoran shrugged. "They said there was an errand or something."  
  
Sakura blinked before stepping up before Syaoran in her new dress. "Does this dress make me look fat, Syaoran-chan? I did go to that wedding reception dinner yesterday for Yukito-san." Syaoran's mind started to go into overdrive. 'This is what Takashi meant!! Kami-sama, my tenshi is evil!!!!!!!'   
  
"I...just remembered that I have something to do. Bye!!!" He gave her a quick peck and raced out of the room. "Hoe?" The girls had huge question marks above their heads. Chiharu spoke first. "What was that about?" Sakura shrugged. "The guys are cute but they are so weird sometimes." Tomoyo and Chiharu nodded in agreement as they watched the dust cloud from Syaoran settle into the ground.  
  
Index of Japanese words  
  
Honto - really  
Urusei - shut up  
Koishii - beloved  
Tenshi - angel  
  
What do you think? I'm grateful for Queen Victoria because it was her death that let me have a long weekend this weekend!! I'm working on my other stories but it's hard considering projects, exams around the corner and lack of inspiration. But I'll do my best!!  
  
My response for "Your Worst Nightmare".  
  
1. Who are your friends exactly? I need to know who they are so I'll reduce my harshness on them.  
  
2. Your spelling and grammar is absolutely horrible. I'm assuming that you're a teenager who failed basic English several times or you're a little brat trying to make it into the world as a jackass just like me in my past life.   
  
3. I know people who are ten times scarier than you. My nightmares as a little kid are probably more scarier than you. As far as I'm concerned, you're a forgotten dream.  
  
Happy Victoria Day, Canada!!!  



End file.
